Junk in the Trunk

“Because Your words are my deepest delight, I didn’t give up when all else was lost.”- Psalm 119: 92

Hi Friends! Last week I told you that we would continue to build on the character of our Loving Father, and we are, but it actually looks a bit different than I had originally planned! God is running this blog, not me, and I will be in total obedience to wherever He leads my heart, and so, things are taking a little turn! Oh, but I promise it will bless you! This week, I will share 2 posts because this is a lot to take in all at once, and I really want you to soak in every single part of what He has shown me. There is also my inability to keep a story short and sweet! If you know me, you know I am going to give you all the details! It’s just who I am! Haha!

<I started writing this post on Friday, January 22, 2021, and it is Monday, January 25, 2021. I am still writing and editing, and working on this. The enemy is working very hard to keep me from this particular message. I believe there is a breakthrough in this message for you, the same way there was for me. I’m going to push through, and I’m going to get this message of encouragement to you, friends - no matter how hard it is. My mind feels stuck. I have so many things to say to you, but it all just keeps spinning inside of my mind like a hamster on a wheel, and yet no words seem to want to come together. Oh, but “No weapon formed against me shall prosper”... So, let’s do this, friends!>

“No weapon formed against me shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgement You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,” says the Lord.” -Isaiah 54:17

Today would be any other ordinary day, except it wouldn’t be. Today the enemy has started bright and early. One shenanigan after another. It is 9:33am, and I have cried 4x this morning, found frustration in two places that normally overflow my heart with joy, contemplated giving up on two major, like life changing goals that I have been pouring my heart and soul into, and had a lengthy conversation with myself that was filled with unkind, unfair, and destructive dialogue. When I tell you that everything was malfunctioning, I am not exaggerating! My biggest malfunction this morning just happened to also be my biggest area of weakness: my emotions. Oh how clever, Satan. How quickly things have spiraled into a full-on destruction zone. Until something happened. I forced open my eyes of faith. I ripped those “enemy placed contacts” off my eyes as soon as I identified them. Then something hit me: God started preparing me for this specific attack earlier in the week when He laid on my heart the last post I did, “Holy Carrots”.

This realization was a crucial moment. This was the moment the battle was over, and victory was claimed on my behalf. Here’s the most eye-opening part of this: I didn’t have to fight. My Father already fought that battle for me with the living power of His words. I just had to speak out what He had been filling me with all week.

“For we have the living Word of God, which is full of energy, like a two-mouthed sword. It will even penetrate to the very core of our being where soul, and spirit, bone and marrow meet. It interprets and reveals the true thoughts and secret motives of our hearts.” -Hebrews 4:12

He had been filling my “trunk” with battle gear. Every single verse that I had been studying over the last week had a very specific, strategic purpose. Throughout today’s message, I am going to intertwine the verses and events leading up to the enemy’s ambush on Friday morning. I really want to relay this revelation to you exactly the way God so meticulously orchestrated it because this is so important.

“Give me more revelation of Your ways, for I see Your love and tender care everywhere.”- Psalm 119:64

Just like we talked about last week, in “Holy Carrots”, if we are looking at things through the lenses that the enemy places on our eyes, we are going to miss it. We are going to miss what God has placed right in front of us. This was a faith-empowering moment that actually deepened my relationship, even though the enemy designed it to defeat me, discourage me and push me away from my Father.

“But as for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.” - Genesis 50:20

Okay friends, let me give you a little back story. It has been a deeply embedded passion of mine to write. I mean as soon as I could form sentences, I wanted to write stories, poems, songs, speeches, etc. It didn’t matter what form, I just always had a story to share. That’s exactly what I did,too. I entered many contests at school, received “civic oration” awards, had a couple of poems published, wrote songs and sang them to my family. My aunt is a talented piano player, and she would put music to songs that I’d write and we would play them and sing and it was just amazing! It was always the thing that I identified as “my thing”. One day I was asked what I wanted to do as a career. I needed to be choosing my high-school classes and be on some sort of path. Of course, it was a no- brainer for me. I said that I wanted to be a writer. The response to this would change the course of my life. I was told that “only one in a million people will make it as a writer.” I was directed into a path of “more certainty”. A cardiologist was a more “realistic” career for me. So, that was it. This passion never left me though. It was dim, but always burning inside of me.

“All Your promises glow with a fire, that’s why I am a lover of Your Word.” - Psalm 119:140

I always wondered if it was my calling. However, I would disregard that ridiculous internal nudge because I could not possibly be that “one in a million”.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me and I will listen to you. And you will seek me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” -Jeremiah 29:11-13

Fast forward almost 20 years later, I started having this deep pulling inside of me. It was almost a magnetic force to a pen and notebook. I would write. However, I would never show a soul. I mean, never. I was at church one particular Sunday and I saw this person pacing back and forth by the altar. I made my way to the front and just stood there. I closed my eyes and lifted my hands in the air and began to pray. Within a few moments, I felt this person’s hands on me, shaking and he said to me, “ You will be working with your hands. You are going to do something that reaches many people, and God will give you a name.” I had no idea what that really meant, but that hope imprinted inside of my heart. I knew this had to be the Holy Spirit. How could this person have ever known the internal dialogue between my soul’s yearning and my mind’s unbelief? It has been three and a half years since this was spoken, and here we are now! On a side note, in case you were wondering, I did not become a cardiologist!

So, back to this incredible promise being fulfilled! I am typing <with my hands> , on a public platform with the ability to reach as many people as He wants, with a name that came to me and somehow was available! If you have ever tried to come up with a business name, you already know the struggle here! People love to come up with clever, adorable names and just purchase the domains in order to sell them for thousands of dollars! The struggle is real, friends! However, this one, it was picked out, set aside and reserved by my Precious Father who chose this for me! So, I’ll write here. As long as He keeps supplying me with messages, I will be here sharing them with whoever has eyes to read them. It doesn’t mean the insecurity isn’t there though. It is. What a deep-rooted seed I watered my entire life. “I am not one in a million.” Oh, but I am. And you are. There is no other Bethany Hope King with my exact DNA, fingerprints, hair stands, birthmarks, freckles, etc. There is only ONE of me. Just like there is only ONE of you! Never ever forget that.

“Just as no two faces are exactly alike, so every heart is different.” -Proverbs 27:19

“You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord!” - Psalm 139: 13-14

Here is the first place the enemy started messing with me. I have been incredibly nervous to share this exciting, amazing, new adventure with people. I don’t feel ready yet. I barely know what I am doing! I just want to do the writing part, but even that comes with a bit of nerves. Being real, it comes with a HUGE bit of nerves!

“I can’t rely on my thoughts or feelings to hold my faith in place. God holds my faith in place.” - Jennie Allen <Get Out of Your Head>. This is where I was reading last week in this incredible book, by the way, and I actually wrote this down in my notebook because it just hit me a certain way as I read it. You know when you just know that something is important for you to pay attention to? That was one of those moments. The Holy Spirit nudged me in this moment.

I had just gotten one post up, my first one, and very nervously, I decided to share this site with a couple of close friends who showered me in compliments and encouragement and confirmations. I eagerly wrote my next post, and decided that I’d share that one with a couple of family members, as well. Honestly, I expected a very similar response, like the ones from my dear friends, but I was very wrong about that! It was the family members that either did not respond at all, or complimented me on what the page looked like, but didn’t actually read either of the posts. Oof. That was a blow to my confidence.

I wish I could tell you that it didn’t impact me at all. I wish I could tell you how unimportant it is to me that those few people didn’t care to even read the messages that I poured my heart and soul into. I wish I could tell you that it hasn’t halted my eagerness to share with more people. I wish I could tell you that it didn't throw me off track just a little. This sting is very familiar in my life. The sting of rejection. I know that pain very well.

“God, I invite Your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to Your glorious, everlasting way-the path that brings me back to You.”- Psalm 139: 23-24

I get it. I know they are busy, and there are probably a million legitimate reasons why they haven’t taken the time to read it, but the enemy also knows this deeply embedded seed of insecurity that I wrestle with. He knows how easy it is for me to run from this because of my fear of rejection and failure. I mean, I have done that exact thing for over 20 years now, right? I’ve been avoiding a call that I know, in my soul, is from my Father.

“You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past. You have laid your hand on me! This is just too wonderful, deep, and incomprehensible! Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.” - Psalm 139: 5-6

Even right now, as I am typing these words, I have the slightest tinge of embarrassment. Thoughts keep encircling my mind pondering whether those that are closest to me think that I am a joke, or a failure, or this or that. God knew this was coming, which is why He went even further than armoring me with His precious word, but He orchestrated some events that were undeniably placed in front of me to serve this purpose. More revelations to uncover!

“I can never forget the profound revelations You’ve taught me, for they have kept me alive more than once.” -Psalm 119:93

So, last Wednesday, ( 2 days before the enemy tried to wreak havoc on my day) my toddler, Hallie, was playing in a couple of bins in the living room. A couple of them contain her “downstairs toys”, one with her pull-ups and wipes, and the others are where I hide away the things that aren’t “decorative”, but important and needing to be in hand’s reach at any given moment. A lot of my books and notebooks are in there. One book I had purchased well over a year ago, “Fervent”, by Priscilla Shrirer, was taken out, and lying on the ground with a couple of toys she gathered. I went to clean up and remembered that I had started reading this book, but hadn’t finished it just yet. I had watched the movie, which was incredible, by the way, but for some reason I had never finished reading this. It is not uncommon for me to be reading 5 or so books at one time. Maybe it’s my ADD, maybe it’s the way my brain is wired, and then again, maybe it’s strategic- or a combo of all the above!

God has really spoken to me in different seasons of my life through the books I’m reading, or Bible studies that I am doing. So, I picked up the book and it flipped itself open to page seventy-four. I just started reading. It was all about how Priscilla and her family had decided to be a part of filming this movie, and that they were warned by producers that other families that agreed to be a part of this, were being attacked by the enemy. He seemed to be attacking the very things that the movie was about. Her marriage, family, faith- all of it was being attacked. It was as if he was hoping to dismantle every ounce of authenticity and hope it would bring to so many people. It was a warning to pray specifically over those areas of her life and her family.

I remember so clearly. I looked at my husband and told him about it. I said “ How crazy is it that Hallie got this book out and it flipped open to this exact page?! It’s almost like God is preparing me for something. I’m kind of just waiting on the enemy to start his attacks because I chose faith in my Father, over my fear of failure.” Two days later, on Friday, oh it started! He came armed and ready. However, so did I! At first, I didn’t see what was going on. Honestly, I was tired on every single level. My teenage daughter, Amaya, was giving me a run for my money with her “extreme leadership skills”.. I say this with a smirk, and also a desperation for this season of head-butting to be purposed for rearing up a bold and fearless Godly woman. But right now, in this particular season, it’s exhausting and challenging in every way. Of course, rewarding, but definitely challenging! Okay, you get the point!

“Dedicate your children to God and point them in the way that they should go,” and the values they’ve learned from you will be with them for life.”- Proverbs 22:6

I’ve also been working very hard on my physical being as well. So, the daily cycling, strength training and disciplined eating has been giving me growing pains. Maybe some hunger pains, too! I am very early in, and my expectations are defininitely on the unrealistic side. You know when you have a light meal or two and workout twice and you want the scale to reflect like 6 months of hard work instantly? Ugh. Not the way it works, unfortunately.

On this morning, that was the ice-breaker that the enemy reeled me in with. My eyes were barely open, but the first thing I did was jump on the scale to see if my work had been paying off. Not according to the scale. Oh, the frustration overcame me like a strong wave trying to take me under. I was being so harsh and unrealistic with myself. Just a side note: the scale is not what defines me. I do fully know and believe this now, but this is another stronghold that I’ll share more about later. Just note that this is a major area of weakness for me, and it was at the top of the priority list to get my mind in all the wrong places, setting me up to further unravel me with his sneaky plan of attack.

“Put on God’s complete set of armor provided for us, so that you will be protected as you fight against the evil strategies of the accuser.” - Ephesians 6:11

I think this a good place to stop today, but keep an eye out for the rest of this story over the next couple of days. Before we end here, I want to ecourage you to go back through and see these specific verses. It is so important to know the word of God. You never know when you will need ammo. Hebrews 4:12 talks about the Living Word of God, full of energy, like a two-mouthed sword. So, what that means is that God speaks His Word, and then we, in agreement, also speak it out and it becomes the “two-mouthed sword.” This is so important. We have to be speaking in agreement with what God says about us, about our circumstances. Whatever it is. When we are in agreement with His Word, then it becomes our weapon. We have to first know His Word, though. You have to have space for this. What is your ”trunk” full of? What can you hand over to God in exchange for His truths? I love to write down verses in a notebook in a way that is categorized. For example: Write “Anxiety” on the top of a page and then start writing the verses there that combat that specific problem area. It helps so much, friends. I depend on His Word daily. Literally, I depend on it. So, when I tell you that you can trust Him, I mean that with every fiber of my being.

“And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” -Deuteronomy 31:8

Dear Heavenly Father,

You are so good to us Father. We are so blessed to receive Your love. Thank you for always taking care of Your children. We ask You, Lord, to open our eyes up to see what You want us to see. Help us to see through Your eyes. Speak victory and favor over our lives with Your breath that speaks life. Help us to really hear You in the midst of our trials instead of trying to figure them out on our own. We ask You to lay on our heart the things we are holding on to that are “junk“ and taking up precious space for You to fill with Your treasures. Thank you for loving us so much. We love you Father. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Be Blessed Friends!

-xoxo-

-Bethany Hope